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I’ve got some sad news today for you, readers. Nigh on DEVASTATING is what it is. But the fact of the matter is this: I’m going away on vacation and you will be deprived of my hilarity for two whole weeks! It’s terrible, I know. But never fear because we’ve got some very capable replacements coming on for me by the names of [it doesn't matter] and [because they won't be as funny as me]. Best of luck to them because the bar has been set higher than Willie Nelson!
STAR WARS BLOOD TIES
BOBA FETT IS DEAD #4
Cover by Chris Scalf
You might recall I actually included the first issue from this series a few months back, joking that they had already given everything about the story away. Well, quite surprisingly, I guess I was wrong! But here’s Mr. Fett. And he is PISSED.
File this image under Possible Last Things You Might See Right Before You Die. It reminds me of this scene in a movie called Heist in which Danny DeVito is staring down the barrel of a gun and asks, "Don’t you wanna hear my last words?" In response, Gene Hackman says, quite awesomely, "I just did." *BLAM!*
BEFORE WATCHMEN
COMEDIAN #2
Cover by JG Jones
You probably saw this cover in yesterday’s DC Highlights column. (And if you didn’t SHAME ON YOU.) What I like about it, and what I hadn’t even noticed when I was looking yesterday, was that the blood pooling behind the Comedian is shaped like the country of Vietnam!
Now, maybe some of you are thinking, "Uh, yeah, no duh. Of course it’s shaped like Vietnam." But sometimes it takes this writer a little while to catch onto things. At any rate, it’s pretty impressive that someone’s blood would come out in this shape. But you know what would be MORE impressive? If it came out looking like Maryland’s laughably gerrymandered 3rd Congressional district!
Aaaaaaand with that I welcome you to election year 2012.
WINTER SOLDIER #8
Cover by Steve Epting
I don’t know that I have anything particularly witty or smart to say about this cover. It just made me laugh! Because what scenario would ever cause Black Widow to be in that position on top of a water tower? It looks like she’s doing one of those little cheerleader jumps! "Ready? O-KAY. Bucky, Bucky, he’s our man! If he can’t do it… then look out for that sleeper agent!"
And of course Bucky is looking at her like, "What on Earth are you DOING?!"
For my final act before vacay, I wanted to do some quick hits. Covers about which I didn’t have anything lengthy to say, but nevertheless wanted to include. Although honestly I don’t have anything lengthy to say about most covers… I just sort of make it up as a I go along! Let that be a lesson to you, kids: just fake it!
Anyway, we’ll start with Spaceman #8, which appears to involve the grossest game of Operation I’ve ever seen. (Pop quiz, no googling: what is the name of the patient in the Operation board game?)
 Spaceman #8 |
 Secret Avengers #29 |
 Deadpool #58 |
Next up is Secret Avengers #29. I almost included it right alongside Winter Soldier #8 as part of a double Black Widow spread. But in the end I separated it out because I thought Natasha’s butt served better treatment than that.
Finally, the ever-present Deadpool. They always go for the easy laugh and, with me, they always succeed. Great cover! But if it came down to it, I’d put my money on Natalie Portman.
- Andy B.
